On the face of it, Anne, Lady Glenconner's life is a mixture of fantasy, fairy tales, and tragedy. The reality, however, was far more painful as Anne's poignant memoir,
Lady in Waiting My Extraordinary Life in the Shadow of the Crown (Hachette: $28.00)
The eldest of three daughters of the 5th Earl of Leicester, Lady Anne Coke was born in 1931. She grew up at Holkham, the family estate in Norfolk, only a few miles from Sandringham. Princess Margaret was a lifelong friend as she and her older sister, the future Queen Elizabeth, were often guests of Lady Anne and her younger sister, Lady Carey. The royal connections meant that Leicesters moved in the highest echelons of society.
She was one of the Queen's Maids of Honour at the 1953 Coronation. After her debutante season, the focus was on marriage, not a university and a career. She had a short-lived engagement with Viscount Althorp -- broken off by his family because of alleged madness in Lady Anne's ancestry -- Lady Anne became engaged to the Hon. Colin Tennant, heir to the 2nd Baron Glenconner, a wealthy Scottish landowner. Anne was 22 years old when she met Colin, while she was sitting at the bar at the Ritz Hotel, as both were guests at a deb party.
It was a difficult marriage. Yes, Lord Glenconner was extremely wealthy, and, some would say eccentric, but he also had mental issues that flared even before the marriage. He often lost his temper and Anne learned after the wedding that he had suffered two nervous breakdowns before his marriage.
After one outburst, Anne went home to her mother, who showed no sympathy or support, telling her daughter to return to her husband.
Anne and Colin had five children: Charles, Henry, Christopher, and the twins Amy and May. It was Lord Glenconner who bought Mustique. His money, ideas, and his connections made Mustique the must place to visit for the very rich. Coliwedding gift to Princess Margaret and Lord Snowdon was a parcel of land on Mustique. Some years later, Margaret had a house built on the land.
Anne and the princess remained close friends until Margaret's death Anne was also a trusted lady in waiting for more than 30 years.
Life in a gilded cage is not always enjoyable. The Glenconners were married for 54 difficult years. Their eldest son, Charlie, suffered from mental health issues and died from a drug overdose. Henry was gay and died from AIDS. Christopher was in a coma for several months after a motorcycle accident and endured years of physical therapy. Colin was unfaithful throughout the marriage. He was also nonchalant when he told Anne that he had a son (and grandchildren) who was born before their marriage.
This was a true friendship between Anne and Margaret. Anne often "provided sanctuary" for Margaret at her home in Norfolk, Glen (the Glenconner estate in Scotland), and Mustique. In return, the Glenconners often stayed at Balmoral or Royal Lodge in Windsor Great Park (the Queen Mother's home).
This memoir is entertaining and bittersweet. One cannot imagine the pain of losing one son to drugs and another to AIDs. Colin eventually got bored with Mustique and moved to St. Lucia. Anne was spending more time in England in her cottage near Holkham. Her father had recommended she buy the house at the time of her marriage. The house was a bolthole, a retreat, especially after Colin's death from a heart attack in St Lucia. Anne arrived in St. Lucia for the funeral and the reading of the Will. Only seven months earlier, Colin had made out a new will. He left everything to his assistant, Kent Adonis.
Anne was flummoxed, She wrote: "A marriage filled with Colin throwing as many tantrums as he threw parties....This last attention-seeking gift. It was a terrible humiliation."
Charlie's son, Cody, had succeeded Colin as Lord Glenconner. He and his mother disputed Colin's will. After seven years, the final court decision handed half of Colin's estate to his grandson.
As Anne returned to her farmhouse, she tried to understand why her husband would pull such a stunt. She was left feeling betrayed for her children and for herself. Now in her late 80s, Anne is surrounded by her surviving children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. She still travels to Mustique to visit friends. She acknowledges that the pain of losing children never goes away, but she prefers to dwell on the future and hopes to live to100.
Lady in Waiting is one of the best memoirs that I have read in some time. Anne provides an honest, emotional, and yes, extraordinary, accounting of her world - one of privilege and wealth, but also a life filled with sadness and tragedy.
